i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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