I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Your cock deserves a montage
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
