4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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