Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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