Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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