The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
