i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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