I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
