well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
