the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
