Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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