Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I woke up under a house in Key West
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
