The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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