I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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