im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
