i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
