"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
