How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize