You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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