I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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