He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
