I smell stomach acid.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
