We won't sleep together?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
