He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize