Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
