i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You ate ashes out of my bong
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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