Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
