Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
