I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
