I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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