Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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