dude i'm inner monologue high
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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