What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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