I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
