would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
