dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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