I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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