ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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