i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
