Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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