dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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