why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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