I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the day after is always just damage control
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
