I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
