You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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