Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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