I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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