soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
