So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize