btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
