***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
