Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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