So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
