Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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