Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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