The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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