I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
