even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
