when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
