Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
