i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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