Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
