Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
