well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
