This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think my vagina is haunted
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
