Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
