There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
