Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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