She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
