If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
