And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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